I gained my consciousness in the middle of the night, found myself lying on a hospital bed. All alone. Wrestling for my life. Defying death. Motionless. I did not know how I got here. I felt dizzy and weaker. I couldn’t even move my legs, they were numb. What happened? What had I done to deserve this? Where did I go wrong in my life? Countless questions ran through my mind without a single answer.
When I looked at the clock on the wall, it was 2 AM at night. The facility was graveyard silent except the beeping sound of machines from different rooms. The few present were too sick to move. Too injured to express their pain. My only hope and assurance lay on the machine on my right hand side whose screen showed a red continuous graph of waves that kept on running from side to side.
Many are the times I had managed to bargain with my gods never to find myself in such a situation. And if I should, maybe as a doctor not as a patient. He never kept his part of the bargain. I was here as a patient. Almost a corpse. All alone. And where were the doctors or nurses? Still no answer.
After few minutes the the door unlocked and a nurse came in.
“What happened to me?” I asked.
“You got involved in an accident when you were carelessly crossing the road. Why couldn’t you use the designated foot bridge?”
Then it came clear to me what had happened that night. I had followed someone to rob and maybe to kill him. Little did I know I was the one who had the probability of appearing to the Maker before him. How ironical?
“And how did I get here? What’s my status? Why can’t I move my legs? Why am I having this bandage on my head? I asked.
“Am sorry. You were seriously injured. You were rushed here by a good Samaritan and We have to amputate your legs or they will be cut off.” Came the rude verdict.
I couldn’t believe it. “No you can’t do that!” I shouted.
“You have to relax or else you will get worse. Besides you also have typhoid and malaria. So you should cool down and take care of yourself or things will get worse.”
“Tell me am going to be fine please?” I inquired.
“Let’s hope so.”
“Besides don’t you have relatives? No one has come to check on you apart from a certain lady on the reception who came immediately after we contacted her. We found her card on your trouser pocket then called her. And you are not even related.” She asked.
How could I answer such a question? It has been the most difficult question in my life time. Besides I was not even raised, I just grew up. No one to call a father, sister or brother. I just knew my mother and she passed away ten years ago. I buried her on my own less than ten people in the burial ceremony. I didn’t know my father, aunt or uncle and if they are alive too, they have never bothered to look for me. Am a product of a broken home. Whose pieces could never be collected together.
I was surprised if there is someone who could have the heart of coming to look for me on the hospital bed.
“Who is she?” I asked.
“I can’t remember her name, but I’ll tell her to come in. She also needed to see you too when you get better.”
“Ok, let her in.” The nurse left.
To my surprise, she got in. Redemptor. The lady I met on a matatu on Sunday when I was coming from pastor Kurian. It was in this state of perplexity that I remembered her words. “If you feel like talking to someone please feel free to talk to me. Am Redempter.” She squeezed my hand, tears streaming down her cheeks. I also busted into tears when I saw that golden drop in her eyes. I couldn’t control the feeling when she asked me what had happened.
“Thank you a lot for being here for me at this time. I really appreciate. But I don’t think am going to make out of here alive.” I recounted my life. From the time I discovered myself to the present moment.
“Maybe I should have accepted your help the first time you offered. I would not be here. Maybe I should have cried, you should have shown me mercy. Maybe if had shown you the scars inflicted upon my heart, now I would be healed. Maybe I should have talked back. Maybe, maybe…. I feared you would break me just like others have done, but I was already broken before we met. I have been exposed to too many inhuman acts. I will maybe live the rest of my life in wheelchair just because I ignored you.”
“No,” she cried. “You can’t live the rest of your life in a wheelchair. You will soon be fine and walk again.”
“No, now look the hospital has now become my hanging out joint, where malaria, typhoid, amoeba and now disability meet all at once and have a cup of coffee over how they would make my body a soccer field.”
Still panting in tears. “But most of what I have experienced in life are the direct results of my own creation. Now am just going to die having achieved nothing in life. After I had promised my mother that I’ll make her happy even in the grave. That I’ll live an honorable life,that I’ll give her grandchildren”
“Who will even take care of my hospital bill and I don’t even have a cent with me? Will things ever really change in my life?
“Someone had already taken care of your bill before I came. Every single cent for your hospital bill. I really don’t know him or her. That means there is someone who cares for you. Someone who has your cries at heart”
What!!? I was completely baffled “Who did that?” I asked myself.
She wiped a drop of tear that was wailing up in her left eye and said.
“Listen, these are not my words, someone advised me at a point when I felt like you. It hasn’t happened to you alone, there was a time I found myself in situation where everyone gave up on me, my parents, my relatives, my community, doctors and even my own best friends. But he came by and told me these words that made me whole up to today. He told me, “No matter what, you’re going to make mistakes; it’s an unavoidable truth. But the good news is, if you follow your heart and intuition, the mistakes you make will be steps in the right direction. Just because you fail once at something doesn’t mean you’re going to fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on and believe in yourself. Keep your head held high, your chin up, and above all, SMILE, because the most beautiful part of it all is that there’s so much left to smile about.
Life is what you make it. It’s a wild rollercoaster. Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does. And then just when you think it can’t get any better, it does. Every day is a beautiful mystery. Let go of yesterday’s mistakes and enjoy the mystery as it unfolds today.”
“But as for me, I’ll always be there for you, so worry no more, coz worry doesn’t free tomorrow of it’s troubles; it robs today of it’s joy.”
This was exactly what I needed to hear. The words echoed in my mind. She always knew what to say and when to say. A little light shone on my tunnel’s end when I heard this words. She told me to digest those words and she left. That night, no sleep came my way. All I could think about was my situation.
The mystery was not over, the following day in the morning came another surprise. The guy who we had plotted to rob and maybe kill last night came by. I later discovered that he was the one who rushed me to the hospital that night and paid my hospital bill. The doctors commenced my treatment and that’s why am alive today. Tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably. I could not help it. I couldn’t believe it. I opened up to him what had happened and he could not also believe that the guy who he had helped had plans against him. Rodney was his name. He never condemn, abandon or denounce me. Instead he took me as his son henceforth. Redemptor came with some breakfast and out of it, a family was made. A happy family. After two months I was able to walk again after operation was done on me. Rodney married redemptor few years later. I got a loving mother and a father out of it. We lived together henceforth as a family.
Since then, I’ve always seen life as a series of stories. I realized that I could put my feelings into words, that I possessed the magic of art in words. The more I wrote the better I felt. The wound is the place where the light enters you.