By Dennis Kioko
The devil has not been happy with my life . I know that. In fact, in every attempt of trying to live a holy life, life without blemish. He interferes and pulls me down once again. He makes sure that I am always his client and there is no way I can see this Kingdom of Heaven that I have been waiting for or rather my name being drafted in that big book of life. I guess he is in love with me.
The genesis of our so called relationship started last year when our pastor migrated the church to another area at Githurai. He had claimed that we were not ready to receive Gods’ blessing since we couldn’t give to God enough on Sunday neither were we giving tithe. How enough is enough for God? Then our man of God told us that he had received a revelation that night to take the word of God to Githurai where there were many brethren customers who needed it than us. Before this, I used to regularly go to church since I had nothing to do at home on Sunday but from then something has been happening almost every Sunday. Yeah “Something.”
I scheduled that coming Sunday I will go to church to get this divorce with the devil but things happened in a mysterious way and I woke up that Sunday not only at twelve noon, but also with someone or something besides me. Worse still my shoes were still wet because I had washed them the previous day. There was no power so I could not iron my clothes. I was so damn hungry and thought of first getting food for my empty stomach or worse still, I could have been drunk because I arrived home Seven in the morning. This is what has been happening since last year. Postponing. I’ll go next week, next week becomes next month, and next month has now been two miserable years. Isn’t the devil in love with me? Now this is the question which has been going round my head. Is the problem me, my pastor, my miraculous Sunday problems or the devil?
I have been to various guidance and counselling sessions but to no avail, many of them have ended up jeopardizing me even more. It has been clear to me that the salvation of a sinner is as much miracle as the raising of the dead and now was the time to be delivered from the valley of the shadows of the dead. For instance, early this year when I thought I was the problem hindering me from that change I longed for, I decided to share my issue with my friends on Facebook, twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, SMS and all the social media platforms you may think of hoping to get help. The response was quite good since a good number of people offered to get me out of all this mess I was into.
I then sat down and had a meeting with myself and listed down the few people who had freely offered their help. One pastor Kurian, one doctor Sasha, counselor Nderitu, Joy who termed herself as a youth leader of a certain church at Buruburu, Zainabu who said she was a lawyer by profession and lastly but not least Caro who was a model.(I wish it’s true). My friends, this is the list of counselors I chose. I don’t know what the problem with my selection is but a number of people have been complaining about it.
Doctor Sasha was the first one to book an appointment with and she was very happy to have had the privilege of counselling me. When I contacted her I was kind of surprised:
Me: Hello Dr. Sasha?
Dr. Sasha: Hello, how may I help you?
Me: OK, am Dennis, I had posted on the social media my issue and I found you as one of the people who volunteered to help me.
Dr. Sasha: Oooh, ni wewe by the way naeza kusaidia, tumeet wapi saa hii? (Ooh, it’s you? By the way I can help you, where can we meet now?)
Me: Now? Are you not at work?
Dr. Sasha: Acha izo tumeet debonairs tao after two hours nikusaidie. (Stop kidding, let’s meet at debonairs in town after two hours I help you out.)
This is how soon it was going to happen. Within two hours I was supposed to be in town. It’s okay, any way I really needed this help. Around six in the evening, I was at the debonairs entrance. I called her to confirm how far she was only to tell me to get in and she was wearing this violet bluish crop top. How was I to know what violet bluish crop top looks like? Ladies, Ghai! Ok, I went in and called her again and told her that I was wearing all black in case she was seeing me.
It’s right there where I saw a lady waving towards me to notice her presence. What!!? The lady was good to say, except the numerous colors she had from her head to toes. Actually she looked like an ice-cream. I walked right towards where she was and then sat next to her. She introduced herself as Sasha blah blah blah as she gave her self many titles. They were all going into the thin air as fast as they had entered. She went ahead and said something like intelligent she was, how she was single, smart and beautiful among other many character traits which she herself knows. At this time, I had not even said my name. I felt like I was in a wrong place at the wrong time and with the wrong person. It’s as if she is the one who needed the help. She had already consumed 4 glasses of yogurt and some chips. I managed to push this question in between her never-ending talks.
Are you really a doctor? I asked.
I guess she did not hear of it because she did not answer me. I just felt sorry to myself and the patients that she usually attends to. That is if she really is a doctor. It was around 7:20PM now. One good hour of talking with no response coming out from me. It’s the time I discovered that I had not even ordered anything to eat or drink. And the way it looked like, this bill was going to be paid by me. Immediately she excused herself. For sure I couldn’t stand her anymore. I just walked out and went directly to a nearby chemist to get some headache tabs hoping that I wouldn’t find another doctor like her. Before I could get to the nearby chemist I had ignored thirteen calls from her. She decided to text me. “Aky sikua na pesa ya hii bill, kuja tu” ( I had no money for this bill, Please come.)
That is how I escaped Dr. Sasha’s advice. Zainabu was the next counselor in my list……
Zainabu with part 2 coming soon……