So, first am taking a break from my online story ‘Karaoke Night that changed her life’. But I will be back soon dear readers.
It ‘s really frightening how one does not know the day or time that we shall die. But the truth is we all shall die. All I know is that I live my life to the fullest because life is too short. She told me to call her (Anonymous) on this post. She is my cousin and here is what she had to say about death that robbed us our dear cousin.
GUEST POST BY ANONYMOUS
Today I was just seated quietly in the house watching one of those movies (You know those movies that leave you re-thinking about the choices you’ve made in life and the inner you starts planning on how you are going to make enormous changes). Ever wondered how reality hits you at different times and when you least expect it? Well, today was a little bit different. Circumstances were different.
Allow me to first say something about me. Am the kind of person who thinks deeply about our day to day happenings. I never really know when to stop. Am a scientist so I prefer facts and puzzles. They are my ‘in things’. Am open to different opinions though. I at times live in a fantasy world when I don’t know when to cope with things. <I know this happens to a lot of us>.
It’s been 10 days 22 hours since death robbed us off our beloved cousin……
Yeah, I have been trying to wrap my mind around it and I just don’t seem to. Well most people never seem to at least. Many questions are racing through my mind. “What is it? Is it a way of keeping a balance in nature? What happens to you in the after life? Atleast we do know about what happens to our bodies. Do you become a spirit or a ghost? Can you see us? What about the light? Can you be reincarnated? Is there another world where you start your life all over again (You know from birth or the other way round). What if there is no after life? No heaven no hell….What happens? Total darkness? Or is that just but the end?”. Too many questions…
What I know is that this is just but the end of your chapter in life. We left behind are left hurting and puzzled. This is just but life. Don’t mistake me. Am a firm believer of Christ. I know I have to live to the best and follow the ten commandments and above all the simplified two given by Jesus Christ and I believe I try to. But when it comes to this things about greater forces out there I don’t know what to think. My mind is just a blur. My Sunday school teacher taught me to just believe and never fear death. Honestly, who doesn’t? I know I do and the thought scares me. The hard truth, it will happen to all of us. When, where and how we all don’t know. Question is, will you be ready? Will you have fulfilled your purpose?
As I write this I can’t help tears rolling down my cheeks. The wound is still fresh and stinging like a b****. We are all asking why? WHY NOW!? AT THE PRIME OF HIS YOUTH. Life had hardly began for him. But as they say everything happens for a reason. The last memory I have of him you would ask. Wow! Where do I start?… Late last year, Brian had come over to visit our grandmother along the slopes of Mt. Kenya. It just happens to be next to our homestead. He loved the environment so much. You know the tea plantation especially when its ready for picking (that scenery is beautiful especially the yellow and green blending in Mwaaaaah…). We joked around how he would be left behind in shags and learn how to pick tea. Hahaha, you would think I know how to. Anyway, that day we really did some catching up. It all ended with promises of visiting each others homes oftenly by taking breaks in our ever busy lives. It never happened to pass. You know we are always caught up in that we have plenty of time to do all that (humans?). It saddens me that that is not the case. We are here for a time and a season. No one knows when and how.
As I try to come into terms with everything, the best way I know (repressing my thoughts #humannature). I cannot say, and I will not say that he is dead. He is just away. With a cheery smile, and a wave of the hand. He has wandered into an unknown land and left us dreaming how very fair I think of him still as the same. I say, He is not dead—he is just away.
To Brian, We will miss you. Fare thee well Cuz. Till we meet again.