I am Panicking..

Right now I am just sitting, listening to music as I wander my mind around what is happening right now in my life. A lot is happening but there is only one thing making me panic. It is the thought of this year coming to an end. So lately I have been waking up very early and by early I mean 5.30AM or 6.00AM when sleep takes the better part of me. I snooze my alarm two three times before waking up, it is either I am a lover of sleep or sleep just can’t leave me alone. I am yet to figure this out. I don’t wake up that early to go to the gym or to class. I wake up to just sit on my bed and review my life and also because I read somewhere that people who sleep a lot are lazy. I don’t wanna be that lady. My mama also raised me so well and always made sure my siblings and I never slept after 7 in the morning (On a serious note). But for real, my mama is just the best gift that ever happened to me.

After reviewing my life, which I am yet to come to a conclusion of what kind of life I have, I switch on my television and watch the latest news to keep updated during the day though of late it has  become boring watching news with all the drama in politics. Don’t get mistaken, I am not a politics person. I am the kinda person whose mind will drift away to this beautiful coastal private beach where I am swimming in a hot sexy swimsuit when I am in a group of friends talking about politics. I will pretend to be listening though. I dread politics for real.

I listen to music too in the morning when dressing up to go to work. Those who know me know that I am a soft rock person. There is something about how soft and soothing the music is especially in the morning. I always end up running late when I start singing along to a song I love despite me waking up that early. The good thing is I can always skip breakfast in my house and after running late, I walk that dusty road as fast as I can to the bus stop.

Few days ago a friend also reminded me that the year is coming to an end. I panicked. One of the reasons I have been waking up early too. I am afraid the year will just slip away when I have not achieved what I had planned to this year. I feel like I have not attained anything useful this year. Is it normal to feel this way?Trust me am trying to be optimistic but I just can’t see anything meaningful I have done with my life. I don’t even get how time flies so fast. I live a day at a time but what is the joy if a day/year/month ends and you realize you have not attained anything useful? But wait, is getting older an achievement? Because if it is then I think I am good. I just do not like what comes with growing up. The responsibilities especially payment of bills and expectations from the society.

The good thing is I still have two and a half months left to make this year count as one of my best years. I will make use of the remaining time. I am still debating whether to continue waking up that early to sit on my bed and fantasize or just sleep and snooze the alarm as many times as I can….


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KithyLouise is a Nairobi Based Writer. IT software engineer by profession and Creative Writer by passion. She loves writing about her personal experiences, travel and telling short stories. She is a young talent promoter and a Youtuber. She has also written an online book series that she wishes to publish one day.

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  • Faith
    October 11, 2017 at 5:41 pm

    Keep it up girl..nice work

      October 12, 2017 at 5:52 am

      Thanks Faith


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