I am never smoking shisha again.
This is the tenth time am swearing this. My cousin can atest to that. So this is what happened. During the weekend, my cousin, who I call siz (coz she is more than just a cousin to me), told me she would like to smoke shisha. Actually, it’s something that she has always wanted but never got a chance to. This weekend I was available and had no ‘mpango’ so yes, I was going to take her out.
“Kithy, si you take me to smoke shisha.”
“Haha, are you serious?”
“Eeh niko serious.Twende Sato” – Yes am serious. We go on Saturday.
“Where would you like us to go?”
“Westie is fine.”
She had just read my mind. I love hanging out in Westlands and the fact that I know almost all the clubs there was not going to be such a hard task getting the best shisha joint.
What ran through my mind was “Yaani my cuzo thinks am the most spoilt cousin or what?” “Do I look like an experienced shisha smoker?”
No. Am not experienced. If I take her, that night would be my first time to smoke. I do not even understand how I know of a shisha joint in Westie! But yes, I was going to take her. This night was going to be a “Ladies shisha night out”. We would just spend our cash smoking shisha the whole night and later pray to God to forgive us for we do not know what we are doing.
Cafe Hababi was the place to be. The view, the decorations inside were so welcoming. Actually what welcomes you from outside is the view of guys relaxing and smoking shisha. Everyone holding his or her own flavour. I knew this was the best place to smoke.
It was going to be a night full of fun.
What I didn’t know is that my cousin had other plans. She was also looking for an Arab guy. She explained her love for Arabs in a way that also made me like them. On arriving there, she sat in a position that she could see the cute Arab guys come in. Seriously those guys are so cute, I would elope with one if I got a chance. It looked like we were going to have shisha and the Arab guys for the night and I was up for it.
She was all dressed up. I was not, because I knew all I was going to do was smoke and smoke and smoke. We were going to do alot of smoking. I saw this waiter who had worn a white dera and a cap on his head. He looked good and I actually thought he is a muslim. He came towards us and asked us to order what we wanted. Dude, can’t you see we’ve come here for one reason? It was simple, we wanted shisha!!
My cousin and I thought of eating first because we were not sure of the after effects of smoking shisha in an empty stomach. We ordered chicken wings and ate. Once we were done, it was time for shisha. You should have seen the smile on our faces, one would think we were pros in smoking. I don’t even know what was really exciting us. Probably the thought of getting to smoke shisha. The experience. The excitement of imagining thick smoke out of our mouth. We would look at the guys outside smoking and all we could see was thick smoke. I mean thick like really thick smoke gushing out of their mouths from the hookah pipe. We vowed with my cuz that we were not going to leave there until we became experts.
Nick, this is the guy who was serving us, brought us shisha and lit it. I must admit that I have never seen a guy smoke shisha and let out the amount of smoke that I saw Nick blow out. It,s indescribable. I thought that was totally amazing. He lit it up and told us to go on.
“You go first”. My cuz told me.
Well, I was a little bit nervous. Not that it was my first time but the last time I smoked shisha, it was my girlfriends birthday party and that was just a mere puff but this one, was going to last long. I took the lead, tried smoking but all I did was cough out because it choked me. For almost ten minutes, I was not able to smoke. I handed the pipe to my cousin and she tried it out.
Why were we choking whilst all the guys and ladies I saw there were not??? They were smoking so easily. They were relaxed. How long had it taken them to know how to puff such thick smoke? Nick came towards us and told us to relax as we puff and do it slowly. Looks like we had got ourselves a tutor to show us how to go about it. Yes, relaxing was the secret. We were fast to learn and before we knew it, we wanted to smoke more and more. Funnily, we were not feeling any effect on us.
One hour down, we were still smoking shisha….
This guy Nick, seemed so interested in us. Reason? I have no idea!! He came and stood beside us and asked if we were doing fine. We said Yes. The truth is we were doing much much better than just fine. See, we had already known how to smoke shisha and were sharing stories and gossiping everyone who came in or left.
He told us how he has attended several occasions and how he knows to prepare shisha. He also went ahead and told us he is a personal friend to Alikiba. He even showed us a picture of him smoking shisha at cafe Hababi. Wait! Alikiba was here? In Hababi? Please, the next time he comes buzz me I wanna see him and sit right next to him. I will take selfies with him and put him on my Instagram page #AlikibaManenoz #Justhangingout #Mycrew #Watchthespace. He has been invited to Tanzania by him a couple a times. I don’t know whether he was bragging but the truth is we were enjoying his company and his stories.
We later learnt that he is a Kamba from Mwingi and not a muslim. He only dresses like that because it’s the job policy. He went on telling us how he goes to Mojos (a club in town) every weekend with his own shisha to smoke there. This would be a great opportunity to keep in touch with this guy for one reason. Free shisha. As he talked, we were still enjoying smoking. We had now become relaxed and were now smoking and puffing out more smoke like the other guys. We were having single flavour mint.
Three hours down, we were having fun and laughing with this guy Nick. He was good company but my cousin would not help it but stare at the Arab guys who came in. She kept staring and wished that one would come say hi to us.
“I can feel my head spin”. My cousin said as she removed her shoes and folded up her legs on the couch to be comfortable.
“It’s the shisha effect I assume”, What am I assuming? Of course it was shisha affecting her.
We were making jokes on what would happen if our parents came and found us in that situation. I didn’t want to imagine. My head was spinning too. Why would it have such effect on us? The good thing is the effect was not long lasting. We continued smoking and as we watched guys enter and leave, we realized the ones we had come in with, had already left.
What mattered is we were enjoying the moment. You Only live once. The mint flavour was so sweet. My cuz would keep saying how she will never smoke shisha again. All I could do was look at her and say nothing. I just hope that she keeps her word because if she ever smokes again I will write it up, post a picture of her smoking and tag her.
Well, for me, I know I will smoke it, it’s kinda addictive by the way. I would prefer shisha to alcohol. And if I am ever invited to a party that says Bring your own drink (BYOD), I will just call Nick or take my own shisha flavour, relax, smoke as I let the night slip away…